We gather together at our Yizkor (memorial) services for a common purpose – to honor the memories of loved ones through the ritual of communal remembering. When we do, we fit into three categories of mourners: those who have experienced a death in the last few months, those who have experienced a death in the last year, and those who have experienced a death or more than one death over a period of years. If we were to be constituted …
Category: Dying
You may be wondering why you are not hearing anything about the Gamliel Café or the Taste of Gamliel series. It is mostly because we aren’t talking about them! As of December 2019, we transitioned from the structure you were familiar with and knew to a new and exciting new approach. Those series you knew are now no longer offered in the format you knew. Instead, we have modified our offerings, and have revamped the structure and how we …
Why join a Chevrah? Why now? This essay seeks to address these questions from two angles, one global and one personal, as well as to explore the intersection of the two. First the personal. My father died in 1999, my mother in 2012. In both cases I felt compelled to find ritual means that would allow me to honor their individuality and the specificity of my connection to them. The idea of handing things over to “professionals”, whether a …
I think this may be a story of control submitting to grace. But first some background. For six years now, my synagogue, Beacon Hebrew Alliance in Beacon, NY, has built a sukkah in a public park on Main Street. Each year there’s a different theme, with programming reflecting that theme. This year, for a variety of reasons, the sukkah almost didn’t get built. But as Sukkot approached, the loss seemed too great, and we rallied to get it done, this …
Now that we have passed the annual Selichot service, and we are about to enter into the days of awe, it is again time to pause and take stock, review where Expired and Inspired has been, where it is, and where it is going. It is appropriate – Elul is a time of introspection, retrospection, and prospection. Expired and Inspired began as a concept in early 2014 as a way to share some of the experiences, thoughts, emotions, and …
Not uncommonly, in my work over the years in nursing homes, hospitals, and assisted living centers, I encounter someone who will say to me, “Rabbi. Why hasn’t God taken me?” It is a question, you can imagine, that is unanswerable. All I can do is take a hand, be silent, and look into the eyes of the suffering one, with compassion, trying to understand the gamut of their feelings: that there is no longer joy in remaining alive, either due …
I am honored to be asked to write for the Kavod v’Nichum Blog. Since this is my first entry, I wanted to introduce myself to you—at least in terms of what I believe as a rabbi and a mourner. Like you, I am involved with doing mitzvot before and after a death occurs. It is important for us to be clear about what we believe and how it affects what we do. Despite my faith in life after death, I …
People say to me, “I don’t understand how you do your job,” or,”What’s it like to be surrounded by death all the time? Isn’t it depressing?” It’s not depressing, but it can be sad. Those of us behind the scenes, the Shomrimwho sit vigil with our loved ones, the members of the Chevrah Kadisha who reverently wash, purify and dress our loved ones..we feel the sadness. We notice when families have one loss after another. We see the connections and …